人之所以比鬼可怕，是因為你會去想像鬼多可怕，卻總相信人會善良 The reason why we consider human are more fearsome than ghosts is that we imagine how horrible ghosts are but trust human is kind always.
比鬼故事更可怕的是你我身邊的故事
Those ordinary daily stories are more horrible than ghost stories.
少女老王
你站在界線的哪一邊?
上一篇講述著孩童時期的女孩們，這個大標題敘述學生時期的女生們。我選擇「我罷免了我的老師」以及「染紅的毛衣」，這兩個在上學時因為「個體差異」被老師、被同學差別待遇或是霸凌排擠的故事。
遇到體罰嚴重的老師，作者依據「選舉罷免法」書寫陳情狀希望罷免老師，但老師藉由處罰別人孤立她，家長還叫她安分一點，當身旁每個人都覺得即使錯的是老師，學生還是不要挑戰大人，乖乖念書聽話就好，就只有作者，願意繼續做對的事，而且還遇到所謂的「問題學生」莉莉，莉莉雖然講話滿口髒話，但總是默默幫助作者，最後當作者不得以轉班畢業後，她大聲說出罷免老師的故事，意外地感動教室的同學與家長們，大家給她擁抱。
私立中學無法避免對於非富裕家庭出生同學的排擠，曾讓作者在手腕上留下一道道紅痕，在老師及教官的默許下，一年四季用毛衣蓋住，並在袖子內側印上暗暗的紅色；沒有想到直升高中後同樣遇到另一位特例於大家的女孩，曾經身為被欺負者的作者竟無形中怕再度被孤立，選擇站在欺負者的角度，但在畢業當天向同學道歉，看到女孩手上一道道月牙白整齊的新月痕跡，忍不住淚流滿面。
“國中是一個很特別的時期，那暗藏在人性中的暴戾，似乎會在賀爾蒙的胡亂衝撞下，與法律保護未成年人的條文產生化學反應，將惡發揮到最大值，讓那個年紀的孩子可以同時具備著純真與殘忍，將霸凌變成大風吹，如果想要一個人去死，彷彿真的可以笑著送她去死。 — 染紅的毛衣”
我的國中時期，過得非常不想讓人回憶，我有好老師，我認真念書有好成績，但沒有很好的同儕。我在不知不覺中慢慢被孤立、排擠，因為擔任幹部太認真盡責，因為個性太直接沒有心眼，因為講話太衝，但我又是班上前三名，國中的孩子，是個正處於想要違背所有規範的年紀，他們討厭一切符合大人期望的人，他們討厭一切表現讓大人滿意的人。我的家庭將我保護得很好，我沒有使用社群軟體讓學業分心、也沒有交男朋友，我很勤奮成為一個台灣教育體制下將近滿分的學生，但處處要求甚高的台灣教育，忘記人際關係是課本沒有辦法教的，我幾乎沒有社交生活，沒有和同學去看電影、沒有一起吃晚餐去補習，我是大人最喜歡的小孩。
那三年我過得很黑暗，笑容幾乎是強顏歡笑，或是諷刺地笑看著那些孤立我的人，可悲著他們的幼稚，我讓自己驕傲起來，我要跟他們不一樣，當時唯一的目標就是考上第一志願，因為我要脫離他們。我很感謝我媽媽和老師對於我的關懷，這些支持讓我沒有想過放棄自己或是生命，我很愛惜自己，我很努力讓自己更好，因為只有更好，才能離開所有讓人噁心的回憶。在國三畢業時，我辦了臉書，有一個人跟我說我要「社會化」，因為我的行為太天真、太缺少與人交際的經驗，我不是｢正常人｣，當時的我不知道腦袋怎麼了，我照著他教我的方法去「練習」社會化，用所謂大家說「正常人」在使用的聊天語氣，當時的我自以為自己在成長，有在成長，但我成長的心不甘情不願。
到了高中，我完全不一樣了，我開朗起來、玩社團，有自己的想法、接任社團幹部，但我始終有點困在不知道如何用所謂「正常人」的社交生活的迷惘中。但是現在大學了，我知道我的個性本身就是一個比較自我，凡事容易為自己先著想的人，我非常有自己看世界、過生活的一套想法，我很重視自己重視的一切，對於自己要做的事情很有堅持；我也比較喜歡自己一個人，不是說不喜歡社交，而是對於整天數十封訊息、假日滿檔邀約的生活沒有嚮往，我喜歡單純一點、長久一點的感情關係，而且我很享受獨處，不害怕自己一個人，還是個會突然離開社交圈只為去做想要做的事的人，而且我不恐懼失去友誼，因為真正的友情不會在我想要追求更好的自己時，阻止我並用情緒去勒索我的陪伴。
開始漸漸喜歡上這樣的自己，喜歡當一個跟別人不一樣的人，即使被別人講閒話，也願意成熟去面對那些幼稚的閒言閒語，知道會將閒話八卦當真的不是值得長久深交的摯友，但我非常討厭別人說我不是「正常人」，可以說我怪、特立獨行，這些我都能接受，因為我就是喜歡當跟大部分人不一樣的人，可是這不代表我「不正常」，「正常人」本身就是一個很可憐的存在，表示他們沒有勇氣告訴大家自己不一樣的特質，沒有勇氣接受因為不一樣被大家說話，所以我告訴自己，不要因為一個人跟「大多數人」不一樣的個性或行為而去幼稚的集結大家排擠他們，我們自己對別人的喜好是自己的事，但不代表其他人也要跟自己一樣。
Which side of the boundary you stand?
Finishing the part of a girl’s childhood, now we talk about the period of school time. These two stories, I Recalled My Teacher and The Sweater Dyed in Red, rounded the differences between individuals of bully and isolation.
A female teacher who always punished students brutally was recalled by the author nut failed by the betrayer, who once be punished. The sequence was that the teacher punished others in order to raise classmates’ anger and isolated her gradually. Finally, she switched to another class to avoid the teacher. She confessed the reason why she had to change to the new class because she once had recalled the illegal teacher. It was warm to her that gained everyone’s encouragement on the graduation day.
In Taiwan, there was unavoidable of the bully among children in private school in the reason of the family background. The author expressed her pressure by the bully by cutting wrist by utility knife. Hence, she had a sweater which had a dark red ink in the inside sleeve. However, in her senior there was a girl who was also different from other normal people. In order not to be isolated again by peers, the author refused the girl’s request. The next time she appeared in the class was the graduation ceremony, the author saw there were many white curves arrayed on her wrist neatly. With tears dropping cheeks, she apologized to her with a great amount of regret.
Here I want to share my experience of bully and isolation in my dark junior period. That I was a diligent and clever kid in teachers and adults’ eyes. No boyfriend and social media to interfere my academic performance, I had merely social life actually. Unconsciously, I was isolated day by day because of my excellent performance under the education system. While I was enough fortunate to have my teacher and mother who supported me that I never have thought to killed myself or harm my body. Accidentally, a boy of my classmates considered that I was not a normal person who had no proper ability of interacting with people. I was so stupid that time that I trusted him and trying the way he said “normal’’ to chat with peers reluctantly in order to “socialize my life”.
After entering senior high, I built confidence and challenged myself through a lot of activities though I still sometimes was stuck in how to live like a ‘’ normal person’’. Whereas I gradually knew my personality now that I am a person who doesn’t yearn the life filled with friends and dating but the stable relationship. I don’t really scare the lost of friendship when I focus on what I want to do because the true friend would not argue to get my accompany by emotional extort. That is, enjoying loneliness is my characteristic.
Happily, I love myself deeper and deeper every day and I am proud of myself of being a special individual. While there is a point I really hate is that I don’t like to be said as ‘’abnormal’’ person that I consider a ‘’normal’’ person is an individual who is pathetic that afraid of showing differences to public or facing others discussion. Accordingly, I always warn to myself not to hate people because of their traits that are different from us and not collude others to isolate them.
